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Summer is entering its final stretch and you haven't taken a holiday yet. Before you book that plane ticket for a last-minute getaway, why not consider visiting a hidden treasure located right in your own back yard? Why not visit My Cubicle? * How do I get there? My Cubicle is located at 275 Willmott Street, Ottawa, on the 15th floor of Mills & Mills Inc., in the south-east corner, next to the printer. * What is there to see? If you're an architecture buff, be sure to visit Eastern My Cubicle, where you'll find the office-renowned Coke Can Tower. The tower, which stands at a whopping three feet, looms high over its neighbouring structures, File Folder Stack and Jogging Clothes Pile. The West Cubicle Wall Gallery is a must-see for art lovers. This season's collection includes such masterpieces as The Motorcycle Poster by Kawasaki, The 2006 Dilbert Wall Calendar by Adams, and A Picture of My Wife and Kids by Polaroid. And no visit to My Cubicle is complete without checking out the Cubicle Divider Window, which offers breathtaking views of the majestic Bob's Cubicle. * What is there to do? For the kids, there's the amazing Swivel Chair Amusement Park, located in Central My Cubicle. The park offers a number of exciting rides, including Seat Height Adjustment, Tilt and 360-Degree Swivel. While the kids are enjoying themselves, Mom and Dad can check out a movie at the historic 19-Inch Flat-Screen Monitor Theatre. Recent films include such classics as Brokeback to the Future and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Star Wars Premiere. * How's the shopping? Although there are no stores in My Cubicle, local artisans sell a wide variety of intricate, hand-made crafts, such as staplers, letter openers, erasers, highlighters, pens, paper clips and elastic bands. * What are the locals like? The population of My Cubicle is approximately one. The locals are generally friendly to visitors, except when interrupted while performing the daily Checking My Stocks ritual. There are, however, several questions considered culturally taboo in My Cubicle and, when asked, make the people of My Cubicle visibly uncomfortable. These questions include: "Have you started working on that file I gave you?" "Why haven't you submitted your timesheet yet?" and "Do you know what happened to all the supplies in the stationery room?" * How's the restaurant scene? If you arrive before noon and the inhabitants of My Cubicle are engaged in the local custom referred to as "sleeping at his desk," you can dine at The Black Backpack, located in Southern My Cubicle. The menu varies according to season, but usually contains such favourites as leftover tuna casserole, ham sandwiches, Oreos and warm yogurt. Once a year, the people of My Cubicle sell a variety of chocolates to raise money for My Daughter's Field Hockey Team, a local charity. * Are there any special events? Every day at 2:30 p.m., My Cubicle is host to the Emptying of the Refuse Bins Comedy Show. Maria, the show's sole performer, is a talented comedian who always brings down the house with such classic one-liners as "Hi," or "I told you not to put banana peels in the recycling bin." On Wednesdays, there's the Watering of the Fern Festival. * How's the night life? Quiet. * How's the weather? There is rarely any precipitation in My Cubicle, except for the annual Tears of Rage Storm, which occurs during Performance Review season. The temperatures are lovely this time of year, with daytime highs reaching a balmy 21.5 degrees. However, bring a sweater, as the evenings can get chilly, with temperatures dipping to 21.5 degrees. Due to its interior location, it's not often windy in My Cubicle, although it can get breezy on Thursdays, when the Cafeteria Restaurant holds its weekly Chilli Day event. * When's the best time to go? If you wish to truly experience My Cubicle's culture, it's best to visit between Monday and Friday, when the locals partake in such time-honoured traditions as "checking e-mail," "making personal phone calls," "Internet banking," "reading the newspaper" and "applying for other jobs." Occasionally, the people of My Cubicle engage in an exotic activity referred to as "working." This usually occurs when inhabitants of the nearby Boss's Office pay a visit. You may also want to avoid visiting on any day immediately before or after a long weekend, as there is usually very little activity in My Cubicle at these times: the locals tend to be out of town participating in morale-boosting retreats, which they've dubbed Uncertified Sick Days. |